Sunday, December 30, 2012

Putting in the work ...

 Last night I was watching yet another holiday rom-com from either Hallmark, ABC Family, or this point in the year I've watched so many I forget what channels they were on...not that it matters.  Anyway, as I was watching Candace Cameron-Bure star in yet another romance, I thought about all those moments that aren't shown in the movies.  I thought about the heartache that happens when there are really misunderstandings, the dashed hopes in realizing "The One" may be yet another frog.

The movies have a way of making Happily Ever After seem so easy.  Even the romances I write do that.  I hope in my books I give some kind of insight into the emotions we have when we feel like the love of our life is slipping through our fingers.  Us humans have a warped way of pushing love away when what we really want most is to hold it close.  Fear has a way of doing that to us.

Fear does that in all aspects of life.  We think of all the goals we want to accomplish, all the checks to make on our bucket list, but far to often it seems I've let that fear get in the way, as I'm sure some of you have.  In my head, I know how to get from "A" to "Z", maybe not all the steps, but the general path.  So when the road gets rocky I freak and think something MUST be wrong here!  That's usually the time I let fear and doubt stop me in my tracks.

OR ... I've been known to have a goal and be conceited enough to think it's going to be a piece of cake to acheive, only to barely try and then wonder why I seem to be stuck yet again. Nothing ever happens as fast as I want it to!

My mom (Kris) and me this summer
Years ago when I was going through my first divorce and had moved into my mother's basement with my then 3 year old son, I would scour the internet for a job and wonder why I wasn't finding anything.  My mother finally said one day 'Amy, God isn't going to just drop a job in your lap if all you do is sit at home and wait for it."  She also said that months later about me finding a good man....that unless he was the pizza boy I wasn't going to have Prince Charming show up randomly at my door step.  If I wanted to find him, I had to get out and look.  And she was right ... about A LOT of things.

We can have the best of intentions with all of our goals and checklists, but unless we are truly willing to put in the work, roll up our sleeves, and get out 'there', we will never truly find what we are looking for.   I know - this isn't rocket science!  But sometimes I think some of us (me included) think just thinking positive thoughts and putting out the 'good energy' will bring it to us.  At least that is what all those SECRET books told us.

But it does take work. I know eating healthy and exercising will have a HUGE impact on my health, yet just thinking about the treadmill exhausts me.  I know my financial picture would look a lot better if only I cut up the credit cards for good and chip away at paying them off, but then there is some 'emergency' that sends me further into debt.  

And love - don't get me started on that.  I can tell you that writing these romances is cathartic for me in a lot of ways.  It is helping me see more clearly why I do the things I do, think, feel about things.  Real love takes work.  We aren't as luckily as Cinderella or Snow White who find their princes and live in that fairy tale bliss.  Love hurts, it sucks us dry at times, but in the end, finding that true, genuine love is worth it all.

My life has NEVER been easy and I don't know why I still hold out hope that things will magically fall into place and all will be right in the world.  There will always be another goal to reach, challenge to overcome, heartbreak to heal.  But I will face it all and put in the work.  Because I am worth it. And not only that, but in spite of the downers in life, I have far more to be grateful for ... and I am more than words can say.

So, 2013 is going to have a lot of work put into it.  I'm rolling up my sleeves, staring down that treadmill, and preparing to truly put in the work.  This time next year I hope to be writing about what an amazing year I had - with multiple book releases, more book signings, international travel, enjoying friends and family, treating myself as I truly deserve, and finding real love.  I can't wait to get started!

I hope all of you have a wonderful New Year and 2013.  I wish you all love and light and dreams coming true.  Here's to putting in the work and reaping the rewards!


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